Infernal Affairs
Reviews • Inspiration • Read the First Chapter
A real estate agent in South Florida's discreetly posh Banyan Beach, Barbara Chessner is down on her luck, up several dress sizes, drowning herself in Bloody Marys -- and, worst of all, has just been dumped by her husband for a blonde TV weatherperson. Tired of living the life of a woman in a "before" ad, Barbara stumbles outside in the midst of a thunderstorm and beseeches heaven to help her -- unaware that someone diabolical might be listening. Instantly, the storm vanishes and the sky fills with stars, one of which actually seems to be winking at her.
Instead of a hangover the next morning, Barbara wakes up with golden hair (not her own premature gray), perfect pitch (she's tone deaf), a strange black dog (registered to her), no double chin, a waistline ... and definite cleavage! Talk about a good night's sleep! So what could be wrong with going to bed looking like Barbara Chessner and waking up looking like Heather Locklear? As it turns out, plenty!
Suddenly, bizarre things begin to happen. Without any effort, Barbara sells the least appealing house in Banyan Beach to David Bettinger, the most appealing man she's ever met. Without any reason, Jeremy Cook, a crude charter-boat captain who has detested her since high school, starts paying her compliments. And without any explanation on earth, everything she wishes for comes true. As David Bettinger becomes passionate, Jeremy becomes jealous, and Barbara becomes a major babe - everyone becomes suspicious. Her friends at the Home Sweet Home agency attribute the inexplicable to everything from hot flashes to dark forces. Not even Barbara knows what the devil is going on. But when she finds out, all hell is going to break loose...
Buy a Copy: Barnes & Noble • Amazon • IndieBound
People Magazine
4/1/96
Page Turner of the Week
Reviewed by Pam Lambert
Funny things start happening to Barbara Chessner after her husband dumps her. Overnight the Florida real-estate agent goes from frump to fox, the hottest saleswoman in her office. And a devilishly handsome client seems smitten. Naturally, Barbara wonders what the hell is going on.
As it turns out, the H-word may be right on target. For Barbara comes to believe that Satan himself has moved into Banyan Beach and that it's up to her to drive him out. But in hedonistic South Florida, just singling him out from all the likely suspects looks fiendishly difficult.
In the hands of the sly Heller (The Club), it's also smart-mouthed fun. You can just picture Ellen DeGeneres, for whom film rights have been optioned, tossing off lines like,
"She was so simple, she probably thought a tropical depression was that melancholy feeling you get when you come home from a vacation in the Caribbean."
Booklist
April 15, 1996
Reviewed by Melanie Duncan
Barbara Chessner is overweight and prematurely gray, and her real-estate career has hit the skids. When her husband announces that he wants a divorce, Chessner hits the bottle to drown her sorrows and then stumbles outside into a thunderstorm to cry to the heavens, "I'll do anything you ask. Anything." Barbara awakens the next morning with a centerfold's body and blond hair, and suddenly, she's selling houses like hotcakes. So what if her breath reeks of brussels sprouts? She pops breath mints by the boxful and goes to meet a handsome tycoon. The tycoon, however, is a "darksider," a person who made a deal with the devil in order to fulfill his dreams. This is a fiendishly funny novel, with riotous surprises and non-stop action. Disney/Touchstone has optioned it for a movie, and the intense national advertising campaign and sweepstakes contest will draw attention to a deserving work.
Copyright© 1996, American Library Association. All rights reserved
Kirkus Reviews
January 1, 1996
A fourth novel from Heller (whose name may or may not have inspired her novel's witty hook) puts a devilishly zany spin on the hard-to-enliven subject of midlife crisis. Things couldn't get much worse for real-estate agent Barbara Chessner of 666 (yes, that's 666) Seacrest Way, Banyan Beach, Florida. A bottle of wine has become her nightly norm; she can't sell a house to save her life; and, at 38, she's already gray- haired and dumpy. One night in the midst of a powerful thunderstorm her misery reaches its peak: Mitchell, her husband of ten years (whom she doesn't even love), dumps her for buck-toothed but blond and busty local weatherperson Chrissy Hemplewhite. On top of everything else, Barbara's suddenly all alone. So she does the only thing she can do: She strikes a midnight-hour deal with the devil. The catch is that she doesn't know what she's done: She thought she was praying to God when she called out to the stormy ocean, ``I'll do anything if you'll help me.'' When Barbara shows up at work the next morning, her stomach is newly flat, her hair is suddenly blond and smooth, her bustline is mysteriously enhanced, and she's acquired a certain je-ne-sais-quoi that has her officemates deeply puzzled. Life picks up all around: She makes an immediate, significant sale to David Bettinger, a former short, fat, bald orthodontist and current stud who turns out to be another "darksider." He gives Barbara the score when in the heat of passion she discovers that he has a tail. Meanwhile, Jeremy Cook, her brother Ben's best friend, becomes rather more than an acquaintance, and her loyal dog Pete turns out to be much more than man-or woman's-best friend. Campy, over the top, down-and-dirty, and a whole lot of fun.
Copyright ©1996, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved.
Library Journal
Reviewed by Elizabeth Mellett, Brookline P.L., Mass.
Florida real estate agent Barbara Chessner is prematurely gray, overweight, and drinking too much. She hasn't sold a house in ages when her husband announces that he is leaving her for a 24-year-old weathergirl. After a tipsy Barbara beseeches the heavens for help, she is thrilled to wake up the next morning, blonde and successful. Joy turns to horror, however, when Barbara discovers that the Devil is responsible for her transformation, and he expects quite a lot in return. Will Barbara be able to get her soul back from the Devil and thus thwart Satan's plans for the moral destruction of south Florida? Readers of this very funny novel will have a great time finding out the answer. Barbara is a terrific character-clever, witty, and truly likable. This enjoyable tale is highly recommended for popular fiction collections.
Publisher's Weekly
Move over, Faust: Heller adds a witty, feminist slant to a strictly 20th-century story of the tug-of-war between good and evil. The devil in disguise makes his appearance to frumpy real estate agent Barbara Chessner in Banyan Beach, Fla., on the night on which Mitchell, her husband of 10 years, announces he is leaving to tie the knot with his partner in adultery. Having been derided for her flat chest, excess avoirdupois, disinterest in sex and failure to sell a house in over a year, Barbara ties one on, then staggers out into a tropical storm to tell whoever's listening that she's ready to make a deal. Done! She's a bodacious babe with a mouth. Soon, an attractive client, David Bettinger, comes on to her. But once she learns there's a price to pay (aside from brussels-sprouts breath), Barbara wants out of her bargain. Banyan Beach takes on a whole new light, or in this case, darkness. Waiting in the wings is pudgy Jeremy Cook, fisherman, singer, hater of pollution and secret admirer of the old Barbara. Cook cooks up a plan to best the bestial; Barbara buys into it. A bunch of wacky characters, including a persistently on-the-scene dog, share this frothy scenario, which lacks subtlety in plot and prose but succeeds on the strength of Heller's fast-paced dialogue and humor. Film rights optioned to Disney/Touchstone.
As I was casting about for an idea for my third novel, Ann La Farge, my editor at Kensington, suggested I consider writing a comic tale with a touch of the supernatural. "Read Noel Coward's 'Blithe Spirit,' " she said, referring to the playwright's famous drawing room comedy. "It may inspire you."
She was right. I loved the play and it did inspire me, but instead of writing about a blithe spirit, I decided to make my otherworldly creature a sinister being.
Set in a fictional south Florida town, Infernal Affairs is the story of a real estate agent who makes an unwitting pact with the devil. Over the course of her struggle with good and evil, she finds the "good" in herself - and in the man with whom she never imagined she'd fall in love.
Published in hardcover in 1996 and in paperback the year after, Infernal Affairs was chosen as a People magazine "Page Turner of the Week." It was released on audiotape by Durkin Hayes and read by Adrienne Barbeau (remember the daughter in the TV show "Maude?"). It was also translated into several languages and issued around the world (the German title translates as: Go To Hell, Darling). And it was optioned by Disney/Touchstone for a feature film.
This photograph came out of the photo shoot my husband did for the jacket of Infernal Affairs. I don't love having my picture taken, but having your husband take it eliminates some of the nerves. So does a glass of wine, which, while not visible in this photo, came in mighty handy.
